


An Understanding

by The_Falling_Star



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Kylo Ren Redemption, POV Rose, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rose Tico is the spit-take queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-16 13:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13637466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Falling_Star/pseuds/The_Falling_Star
Summary: Rose doesn't understand Force-Bonds, or why Rey cares for Kylo Ren, or why the Supreme Leader of the First Order is helping the Resistance three months after decimating them on Crait.But one day, she might.-----A Rose POV fic detailing the weirdness that is being best friends to a Force-Bonded Jedi.





	1. Corellian Whiskey

It was almost three months after the debilitating defeat on Crait that nearly left the Resistance shattered. The decimated fighting force was only recently able to pick up the pieces and rise again, a time when hope burned anew that Rose first heard the term “Force Bond”. And even though it was explained to her what it was, she didn’t really understand. 

 

Rey had told her about the Force for certain, on more than one occasion. Rose could even recite a definition for it if pressed. But truly she couldn’t  _ understand _ . It was like explaining colors to the blind, or a melody to the deaf. The Force was beyond her senses and thus, beyond her comprehension.

 

So on  _ that  _ day, when Rey told her what a Force Bond was, Rose didn’t really  _ understand _ . 

 

But one day, she would.

 

\--

 

Being friends with Rey seemed entirely inevitable.

 

The girls had been bunked together in a dorm room after the Resistance re-inhabited an old Alliance base on the cold, mountainous planet of Nod Kartha. The base had been constructed nearly thirty years ago, but between political bickering and an increase Pirate presence, it had been abandoned before the Alliance even properly set up shop. The General had secured an uneasy truce with the “Privateers” of the planet, as they fancied themselves. The First Order expansion wasn’t exactly doing them any favors, and the tentative allegiances that the Pirates once held to the Alliance ensured that the two groups kept to themselves. 

 

There were enough dorms for every member of the Resistance to have three rooms apiece, but the General insisted they treat it like the rest of their ranks were bound to fill the rest of empty rooms, merely momentarily off base. Just a minor setback. “Plus, the less energy we use per room, the more we can divert elsewhere.” she said to Rose one morning, pointing at a weapons system she would be repairing.

 

Rey was plenty nice, and a good friend to Finn. Rose often watched the two spar with wooden weapons. Or on rare occasion, Finn’s electrified Z6 baton against Rey’s saberstaff (though if she was being honest with herself, it was really Finn she was interested in watching). Rey was a frightening, wild creature in a pitched battle, striking like a graceful Pamarthen lioness. Afterwards the three retired to the girls’ shared dorm, chatting and laughing easily. Despite being the most powerful figure on the base, the Jedi was all goodness when not wielding a lightsaber with deadly skill.

 

They were often paired together for shifts in the hangar as they worked on repairing ships. Rey tearing them apart with ruthless efficiency and Rose putting them back together with expert precision. She also had to admit a partner who could levitate tools and grapple tricky cables with her mind was endlessly useful. They assisted each other diagnosing complicated problems and fell into a easy camaraderie almost right away.

 

Not that Rey was always easy to get along with. Rose could talk anyone’s ear off that was willing to listen. But Rey, a loner from Jakku, seemed to have some sort of social limit before she became overwhelmed. Her words spoken and listened to had a count and once that quota was hit she often excused herself to meditate in some hidden alcove or tuck into a wall panel to rewire circuits out of sight. No slight was meant, but Rose had to admit it stung a bit whenever she saw Rey’s retreating back, especially when there were so fewer among their number now. It was a time when any face was welcome, even if it wasn’t the one woman she wished to see more than any other. But every day Rey’s limit grew, and the scavenger opened up a little more, helping to fill that unfillable void.

 

And sometimes Rey was just...weird. She could blame a bit of it on her non-exposure to other people and growing up in near isolation, but some of it had Rose wondering. At times Rey stopped talking in the middle of a sentence or out of nowhere her head snapped up to look at some unseen thing, or cocked her head to listen to some unheard voice. The first few times had Rose looking up expecting Finn or Poe to appear, but there was nothing, no one. Just Rey being Rey. 

 

Still, they were undeniably friends. Something sorely needed among the Resistance these days and clung to all the more tightly.

 

\--

 

“Where did you get that!?” Rose gasped as Rey presented her with a bottle of Corellian whiskey one day three weeks after they met. 

 

Rey gave her a cheeky smile. “I stole it.”

 

“You what!?” sometimes it was easy to forget her friend was more than just another mechanic. That she was a Jedi. A scavenger of Jakku. “You can’t just take things!” Rose petulantly exclaimed.

 

“Oh, well I guess I should just return this to the marauding Pirates then, so they can give it back to whoever they stole it from.” she said, her expression narrowing only slightly into a mild glare, though she was still smiling and still offering the bottle. Rose didn’t object any further, instead gathering up two glasses for the indulgent drink.

 

“Have you ever had this before?” Rose asked as she poured a small measure of the amber liquid into each glass.

 

Rey shook her head, her lips parting for a half-second as if to offer an explanation, but she quickly shut it. Rose understood. Rey hadn’t drank before. Hadn’t eaten candy before. Hadn’t soaked in a bath before. So many times life outside Jakku gave Rey unimagined indulgences and the one thing that always soured them was the pity of others. So Rose offered her none. 

 

“Ok, then be careful, it packs a punch. In the best kind of way.” Rose responded quickly with a grin. She lifted her glass, Rey mirroring her.

 

“To good friends with sticky fingers.” 

 

The glasses clinked and the amber liquid disappeared down the girls' throats, filled a second later by a chorus of coughing. 

 

“R’iia, you weren’t kidding!” Rey sputtered.

 

“You want some more?” Rose offered.

 

Rey eagerly held up her empty glass.

 

\---

 

Half the bottle had been depleted and an hour of jovial conversation and rancorous laughter filled the air. Rose was definitely a content and happy drunk more often than not, and Rey turned out to be incessantly talkative. The pleasant buzz in her head made her not mind in the least as Rey divulged more about herself than she had in three weeks previous and the whole month following. Endless babble about Jakku, her former “employer”, droids, Finn, Poe, Leia, and porgs. 

 

Eventually though the conversation dipped into more depressing topics, seemingly inevitably. How could it not, given this time, this place, and these two people? Loss was a biting bitter thing that gnawed at the corners of their consciousness, often out of sight, but never for long.

 

“I miss her so much.” Rose had wept, tears streaming down her face. Her fingers continually brushing over her Haysian smelt pendant. “I feel like a part of me is just missing. Like some mornings I forget and I expect to see her in your bunk. Sometimes I think you are her under the covers, but then I remember.” There was an unspoken agreement that had developed in the course of their conversation; they would only give each other the raw truth here. Even if it hurt. Like bloodletting, they would bleed the truth until it purged them. Rey had a hand on Rose’s shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. She knew the scavenger girl was unused to touching others, but in that moment Rey didn’t care. They were friends, and Rey always helped her friends.

 

“When I remember there is just this...this hole, this gaping emptiness. A part of me that’s gone and I don’t think will ever heal. It never stops hurting.” Rose broke down entirely then, and Rey gathered her up in a firm hug. Full on sobbing with a blotchy face and runny nose, but Rey only offered a rag to the remaining Tico sister once her weeping subsided.

 

Rey had divulged her own pain not long after. “I know no one will ever choose me.” Unlike Rose, who had stared into hazel eyes as she mourned her sister, Rey focused on a particular point on the wall and her eyes were dry. Never once did she face Rose, instead her locked gaze intently bore a hole into that one particular spot. “My parents left me in that desert, sold me to Plutt for some drinking money. Everyone has something, someone they care about more than me. Finn left me once.” Rose nodded knowingly, she’d been told by Finn how the fear of the First Order had overwhelmed him. He likely had no idea what it meant to Rey to see him abandoning her on Takadona. Finn was the closest friend to both of the girls, a man they both held dear, if in different ways. But they knew if Finn had to choose, Rey or Rose, who he would pick. There was just the truth here.

 

“There was...someone. I thought he understood me, that he knew what it was like. He told me that I’d never be alone.” her eyes, still staring at those point on the wall, hardened. “I believed him. Maker help me, I thought for just a moment…” she closed her eyes then, as if whatever she was seeing was now too much to bear. 

 

“What happened?” Rose asked softly, already knowing the answer.

 

A truth. No matter how much it hurt.

 

“He chose something else.”

 

\--

  
  


_ That  _ day, the day the Bond was first revealed to her, started as normal as could be. It was mid-morning on the base, and for once, something resembling warm in the high summer of Nod Kartha (though Rey would vehemently disagree, still cursing the mild temperatures as “kriffing frigid compared to Jakku”). Rose was elbow deep in a X-Wing engine, wondering where Rey and her crazy powers were and why she was working alone, when Finn had rushed in. He gently but firmly grabbed her by her other elbow, almost bodily dragging her to the landing pad. There was a look on his face that made her stomach turn in worry.

 

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

 

“We’ve got company.” Finn said ominously.

 

“What?” she said, still bewildered by the former Stormtrooper’s demeanor.

 

“There’s an Upsilon-class shuttle landing right now, and every soldier is out there to meet it. The General gave the order twenty minutes ago, like she was expecting it.” Rose’s eyebrows shot up. Why was a First Order ship allowed into Resistance airspace? She’d helped repair the anti-aircraft weaponry herself, why hadn’t the General shot the enemy out of the sky? And why was Finn in the hangar with her?

 

“Why aren’t you there?” Rose asked, following his hurried steps.

 

Finn looked at her incredulously. “I-I had to find you first.” he said by way of explanation, though it really didn’t explain anything at all.

 

Still, time for talk ended as they met up with the bulk of the Resistance. While their numbers were still desperately low compared to what they had been three months ago, they had rallied. General Organa was a force to be reckoned with in the Galaxy, and she never stopped fighting. It seemed every day more flocked to their cause. 

 

Twenty guards were armed to the teeth with blasters aimed at the ship that had only just landed, the wings retracted upwards. The engines ‘plink, plink plink’-ing as they cooled was the only sound in the yard, nearly silent as a grave. Every eye was trained on the ship, the tension so thick that the thin mountain air seemed almost heavy with it. The General’s voice cut through the stillness like a sharpened blade.

 

“Hold your fire.” It was more warning than order. The tone of Leia's voice taking on an unfamiliar edge that Rose hadn’t heard before. Who was on that ship?

 

The seconds seemed like minutes until the whine of hydraulics sounded and loading ramp slowly lowered, a figure standing at the top end of the ramp revealed. He was garbed in all black, tall and broad shouldered, with a pale scarred face smattered with beauty marks, framed by dark hair and burning with dark eyes. 

 

It was the enemy of the Resistance.

 

It was the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

 

It was Kylo Ren.

 

The shock of the assembled men and women was palpable. Rose inhaled sharply, her heart thundering in her chest. Finn tensed, his grip on her arm tightening and pulling her close. Despite how much the crowd wanted the man in front of them dead, their loyalty to Leia Organa was stronger. No one moved a muscle. 

 

Except for one woman. 

 

“Ben!”

 

Rey darted out from somewhere in the crowd. If anyone had been inclined to shoot a second before, none dare move to fire now. The last Jedi sprinted up the ramp to meet the dark figure looming there. And if the identity of the ship’s occupant was a surprise than what happened next was total shock.

 

She leapt up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug.

 

And Kylo Ren embraced her back, long arms looping around her body and holding her tightly. He held her like she was the most precious thing in the galaxy.

 

Rose would never in a million years think that the scene unfolding in front of her would ever occur, but her eyes didn’t lie. Eventually she couldn’t look on it anymore, whether from sheer impossibility that her friend was hugging a mass murderer, or that the scene felt too intimate, too private for her to be so baldly gawking at. The only place she could think to set her gaze on was at Leia. The General’s mouth was in hard line, her expression set and every bit the interminable steadfast Resistance general. But in her eyes there was a tiny ember of emotion Rose had see many times from the Resistance leader.

 

In her eyes, was hope.

 

\--

 

“This is stupid,” Finn hissed in her ear, standing a little closer than what could be considered friendly. Rose glanced around, wondering if anyone would take notice of their proximity. Only Poe Dameron was at their side, and like everyone else, his attention was entirely focused on the dark figure haunting the landing bay as he descended the ramp. The guards surrounded him immediately once he and Rey reached the bottom, herding him towards the base proper. Towards his mother.

 

“If he wanted to, he could stop all the blaster bolts before they even hit him. Or just rip the blasters out of the guards hands.” Finn continued, his brow angrily knitted together in a scowl. Rose hated that look on his face. His was better suited to smiling.

 

Poe seemed to match his expression, something rare to see on the usually upbeat pilot. “He could invade their minds, make them toss away their weapons themselves.” 

 

“Really?” Rose asked. She knew Finn and Poe had direct interactions with Kylo Ren, though they didn’t speak much on it. She’d heard all sort of tall tales of the new Supreme Leader, his brutality, his powerful darksider powers, but testimony from her trusted friends made the threat all the more credible. “So why are we all standing around here then and not ducking for cover?” she said, only partially joking. In truth she really wanted to flee back to the hangar, but she knew exactly why her friends were determined to potentially put themselves in harm’s way. After all, she’d done it herself, landing her in the med bay for a week and recovering two weeks more. All to save Finn. 

 

And now they would all save Rey.

 

For some reason she hadn’t left Ren’s side. Was it some weird Force power that had her hugging a murderer? The the towering man bowed his head in front of General Organa and she couldn’t tell what the gesture was for. Paying her respect, in deference, in supplication? Rose couldn’t see his face from this angle to judge either way. His hands were outstretched, palms up, offering the General something. It was a black hilt, with unfamiliar cross-guards that took Rose a moment to identify. It was his lightsaber, and he was offering it up in  _ surrender _ . Leia's face only became harder lines, her gaze judgmental, weighing the person before her scathingly. But Rey looked up at him with the oddest expression. Unbidden a thought emerged in Rose’s mind.

 

Maybe Rey was the one doing the saving this time.

 

\--

 

Rose didn’t get to see her friend until late that night, long after the kitchens had stopped serving food. She’d grabbed an extra meal and waited on her bunk as the two moons circled past each other and her glow lamp was a droning buzz that lulled her to a barely conscious state. She sat up with a start at the grating sound of the dorm door sliding open on rusted track wheels. Rey stumbled inside appearing even more exhausted than Rose. Her hazel eyes widened as she caught sight of the mechanic.

 

“Oh, you’re still up?” she asked, surprised.

 

“Yeah...I grabbed you dinner.” Rose answered, gesturing to the cold meal sitting on Rey’s bunk. The taller girl’s face split into a grateful smile. 

 

“Thank you, I thought I’d just have to wait until morning to eat.” she said before sitting on her bunk tucking in with her usual voracity. If there was an issue with the food’s temperature, Rey didn’t express any of it. 

 

“I also...was hoping you’d tell me what was going on.” Rose hesitantly asked, her voice quiet. She didn’t fear her powerful friend, but she did fear upsetting her. She saw how much the weight of everything pressed down on Rey at all times. How a Nobody was now that last hope of the Resistance, the last Jedi. There were so many burdens for her to bear, and Rose was loath to add to them. But she had to know  _ why _ .

 

There was silence then. Rey had stopped eating. Rose couldn’t ever recall anything that had Rey deemed worth interrupting her eating for. Finally she nodded. “I owe you an explanation.” she said finally. She took a deep breath, steeling herself and launching into her story, one Rose figured she’d already told several times today, repeating it by rote.

 

“Ben- Kylo Ren, and I are Force Bonded. That means our minds are linked and we can communicate to one another. It started while I was away on Ahch-To. When we first made contact with each other, we fought. After a time we started having more civilized conversations and I thought we had come to an understanding. I went to him on the  _ Supremacy _ , hoping he would join us after he killed Snoke.” Rey’s hazel eyes grew a degree colder. “We know how that turned out.”

 

“After Crait we tried ignoring the bond. When we couldn’t we resumed fighting. Things were said.” Her lips curved into a smirk, “Mostly by me, I knew far more languages to swear in than he does. After we ran out of steam, we just...talked. At first about inconsequential things. Just what the other was doing, always avoiding information that would compromise the other. We avoided bringing up what happened. Eventually things got...personal.” Rey was pointedly looking at her food then.

 

“We got close. We care for each other.” Rey said softly. She braced herself before looking up at Rose.

 

And Rose could only stare back, stunned. 

 

After the seconds dragged out, she finally asked, “So why is he here?” thankfully free of any inflection. Rey was her friend, but Kylo Ren was a monster. His influence had killed billions. Her sister. And now Rey...cared for him? She knew she needed to understand, but keeping her lashing anger in check wasn’t easy. Her stunned surprise did help smother it. 

 

“I convinced him to defect.” 

 

Rose could only gasp in response, before her eyes narrowed. “How do you know it isn’t a trick?” Rey didn’t see offended, if anything she was expecting this question.

 

“The Bond.” she answered. “I can see into his mind, his intentions, just as he can see mine. It wasn’t easy, I’ve been trying to convince him to leave from the beginning.” She paused, regarding Rose for a moment, then seemed to go off script once more.

 

“Do you remember that night we had the Corellian Whiskey?” Rey asked seemingly out of nowhere. 

 

“Yeah.”  _ And the headache the next morning _ , Rose thought, but didn’t voice aloud. She wanted to see where this was going.

 

“The man I told you about that night, the one who left me, it was him. He was there then, he could hear what I said about him. After he killed Snoke, he wanted me to turn my back of the Resistance, to join him. I couldn’t, of course, and he didn’t understand. I kept trying, every time we spoke, trying to pull him back. To be honest I think a small part of him wanted to leave since Ha--Starkiller, but he just dug his heels in. It always led to our most bitter fights. That night was the tipping point. I got him to understand that between Snoke and his own actions, he couldn’t get everything he desired. He had to determine his future, and the things he wanted were in direct opposition. He couldn’t have one with the other, he had to choose.”

 

Rose looked a little puzzled, like she was only seeing part of the picture. “What did he choose?”

 

Rey turned to her then, exhaustion weighing her down, like the last few months had been a toil culminating to this day. But then she smiled, a pure a wondrous thing, like she’d been given the greatest gift. The most precious thing in the galaxy.

 

“He chose me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you dear reader for joining me on my first fanfic writing journey. I've been reading fanfics for 15 years, and I've always wanted to write one. After watching The Last Jedi and jumping in the trash compactor to join you lovely Reylo fans, I felt like I finally could put words to the page.
> 
> A huge thanks to all the amazing Reylo writers out there, specifically [Sweetestcondition](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetestcondition/pseuds/Sweetestcondition) who inspired me to write this with an offhanded comment in Chapter 26 of [Hand of Fate](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13052373/chapters/29855124) about Ren and Rey looking insane to outside observers. Go read her lovely fic!
> 
> Thank you also to /u/Makeup_Momma and /u/Puddlewalker on the /r/Reylo subreddit for being my beta readers. I wouldn't have anything near as nice to post without them.


	2. Chandrilan Brandy

Rose didn’t really get to speak to Rey until three days later, when she finally resumed her duties at the hangar. No one had seen hide nor hair of Kylo Ren save Rey, his mother, and at least six guards. Rey offhandedly mentioned that the guards were there to give themselves piece of mind than anyone else. As Finn and Poe had so helpfully pointed out, the only one who kept the Supreme Leader in check was Kylo Ren himself, and Jedi Rey. 

 

The defected First Order Leader had been interrogated almost endlessly since he stepped foot on the base, and Rey stayed by his side nearly the entire time. It was only now that Ren was in yet another series of “talks” with the General that Rey was permitted to get away for a bit, having deemed the Resistance base not in imminent danger if she stepped away for a few hours. Rose assumed the lightsider could have gone back to her room, but she had chosen instead to work. Was it the X-Wings and droids she wanted for company, or Rose?

 

They exchanged meager pleasantries, but as the minutes dragged on, Rose figured Rey had sought out more mechanical distractions than flesh and bone ones. The taller girl was tight lipped and the tension between them heavy. Rose had to break it.

 

“I don’t get it.” she blurted out suddenly to the silence.

 

“Which part?” Rey asked sardonically. It was clear to both parties Rose was talking about  _ him _ . 

 

_ All of it _ . Rose thought to herself.  _ Why you didn’t tell me. Why you hugged a murderer. How you could share a room with a monster _ . To ensure Kylo did not sabotage the base or kill any more Resistance members than he’d already managed in previous campaigns, Rey was to chaperone           

him at all times. Including at night. Rey had scarfed down her meal that first night and gathered a few of her (already quite limited) personal items before returning to Ren’s “room”. It was more like a cell, with a reinforced lock that only opened from the outside and was (as expected) heavily guarded. At the time Rose had gaped at the news. 

 

_ “You’re sharing a room with him!?”  _

 

_ Rey shot a light glare back, “There’s two beds.” _

 

_ “That’s not what I meant!” _

 

_ Rey had muttered that she had to go, ducking her head to hide a blush.  _

 

Returning to the present and seeking a more diplomatic answer that was less likely to upset her friend, she picked a slightly less contentious topic. “The Force bond.”

 

Rey sighed. Rose hoped it was in relief, that this was safer waters than other discussions that would remain unsaid. For now. 

 

“When it first started we would suddenly appear to each other. Like he was just standing in a room with me.” Rey flashed her a wry smile, “The first time, before he could even try to talk to me I shot him with my blaster.” Rose offered a small smile in response.  _ That’s my girl. _ It faded, the next obvious question being  _ So how did you get to this point? _

 

“We realized the other wasn’t  _ really _ there, just a projection. Sort of like what Luke did before he-” Rey paused, gathering breath. Always recounting the past for the Resistance members was a minefield. You always step on some painful memory when treading there.

 

“Anyways, at random we could see and talk to each other. Eventually the Bond got stronger and we could control it, pull the other into our heads if we wanted to. Or shut them out. It became a contest of wills a few times when he wanted to talk and I shut him out, like a mental tug of war. We are evenly matched in that.” Rey said with a hint of frustration. “We also learned how to project just our voices so we didn’t always have to talk out loud into thin air like crazy people. About a month ago it reached the point where it was permanent and always present. We can reach each other’s minds if we are allowed, and we always have some information flowing between us. Moods, things like that, so we know if the other is in danger.” 

 

“So can he hear us right now?” Rose asked, her eyebrows raising and feeling slightly alarmed.

 

Rey tilted her head a minute amount, her eyes staring into the middle distance like she was checking. She responded a second later. “No, he’s focused on his mother right now.” A chill came over Rose. Would anything she said to her friend now pass to  _ him _ if he happened to be watching?

 

“Can he really see into your mind? See everything you do or hear?”

 

“Not quite like that.” Rey insisted, seeming to pick up on the mechanic's concern, “Only when invited, otherwise the bond is usually clamped down. If I wanted to show him, and he was actually paying attention, I could let him see and hear. But only if I allow it.” Rey insisted. Rose let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

 

“Still, that has to be odd, right? Being inside Kylo Ren’s head? Him being in yours?”

 

Rey stiffened at the name, only referring to  _ him _ as “Ben”. Eventually though she just offered a shrug. “I suppose. It is more like a holo projection though, or a comm link, only more convenient. We can show memories or feelings that are too hard to put into words. Though being able to feel emotions makes talking...straightforward I guess. If we hide our emotions, the other can tell. You can never lie or deceive.”

 

She nodded, chewing over Rey’s words. Rose didn’t think she’d ever desire such a thing, even for someone like Finn, but then again, she wasn’t Rey.

 

Rey feared being left alone again.   

 

\--

 

“This is weird.” Rose commented to those assembled at the cafeteria table. Sitting next to her, as always, was Finn. Across the table was Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix and Poe. Normally sitting on the other side of her was Rey. That seat was decidedly empty.

 

Because Rey and Kylo Ren were sitting together. 

 

Together in a table in the middle of the Resistance.

 

And the rescinded Supreme Leader was no longer wearing black. Instead the imposing figure that normally towered over subordinates cowering in fear was dressed in plain and drab Resistance garb, and stuffed into a chair that seemed too small for his overly large frame. It was an improbable and absurd sight. 

 

Murmurs of agreement bubbled up around Rose, and side-eyed glares and glances were aimed at the couple who ate silently at the table a short distance away. Rose couldn’t help but stare along with them. Rey was more drawn in on herself than usual, though she still attacked her food with an unmatched ferocity. It had startled Rose when she first saw how Rey ate, but Finn subtly shook his head for her not to react to it. Not that she would say anything to begin with. Rey ate like the food in front of her could be snatched away any second, that the meal she was gifted could be the last sustenance she would see for days. It twisted something inside her gut painfully to watch. Kylo Ren on the other hand, ate like a prince. Dignified, small bites, even the way he held his cutlery extruded silent superiority. You couldn’t find a more mismatched dining pair if you tried. If the darksider was bothered by his companion’s poor table manners, he made zero indication of it, his expression placid.

 

“Why is he even here?” Finn growled, his contempt out in the open. 

 

“Man needs to eat.” Poe answered with a lazy shrug. 

 

“That’s not what I meant.” Finn snapped. Rose looked stunned at the bitter retort. Finn was always amiable to the ace pilot, and she could never recall him speaking so harshly towards him. Poe seemed to not be offended, if anything, he was indifferent to the whole situation. She wondered how much of that was a facade. Poe had been doing far better at keeping his brash nature in check since Crait.

 

“He is providing the Resistance with information on the First Order. Names, coordinates, weaknesses. We haven’t had such a wealth of knowledge since the war began.” Kaydel supplied, her tone measured as it normally was. 

 

“Why isn’t he in a cell then?” Finn redirected his glare to the lieutenant. She unflinchingly met his gaze. 

 

“He is a Force user.” she stated plainly, as if it were obvious, “There isn’t a single cell on this base, or this planet that could secure him. He is the most powerful man in the galaxy. There is only one person who could stop Kylo Ren, and she’s sitting right across from him.” her reply curt.

 

Rose gently squeezed Finn’s upper arm, trying her best to suffuse the gesture with calm. “Rey is more or less his jailer. Which means he can’t go anywhere without her, and she can’t go anywhere without him.” She directed her next words to the rest of the table. “She’s just as trapped as he is, she told me so herself. Any cell he’s thrown in, she has to go too, just to ensure the Resistance’s safety. She’s been eating meals in his quarters for the last week and she’s tired of it. You all know how it was for her on Jakku, and then she comes here and she’s eating in a cafeteria for the first time. She missed this, she missed eating with us.”

 

“Why isn’t she then?” Poe asked.

 

Rose shot a glare at him now too. “You want to share a table with  _ him _ ?”

 

The silence at the table was a resounding answer. 

 

“She doesn’t want be be holed up in his room, and she doesn’t want to make us uncomfortable either. This is her compromise.” Rose said, glancing one more time over at her friend. She only wished Rey could eat among her colleges without the weight of their stares. Her’s included she noted ruefully.

 

Just then, the corner of Kylo’s mouth upturned slightly in to what might,  _ might _ , be considered a smirk. And a second later, Rey burst out laughing, before silencing the sound with a hand clapped over her mouth. Her eyes still shined with restrained giggles though as something humorous passed between them, unspoken and intangible to anyone but the odd pair of Force-sensitives. 

 

“It’s still weird though.”

 

\--

 

In the following weeks Rose came to realize that Rey’s oddness wasn’t exactly  _ Rey’s _ . It was  _ his _ .  _ Theirs _ , maybe the most accurate term. They had been talking to each other constantly since the day she and Rey met, only now Rose saw it for what it was. The glances up at the unseen figure, the ear perked to the unheard voice, it was him all along. The poor attempts at hiding it from Rose were all but abandoned ever since Kylo made landfall on the base. When it came to the Bond, Rey only let her guard down around Rose, but she kept a meager amount of composure with everyone else. It was an implicit trust they had. The mechanic and scavenger worked on endless ship repairs with no commentary on the strange, half-present third wheel. Rey could look like a crazy person having a conversation with the voice in her head, and Rose wouldn’t comment on it. Most of the time. 

 

“What’s got you so wound up?” she asked once Rey was gritting her teeth so hard Rose thought she might be hearing the bones scraping. Rey had been in a bad mood all morning, and her eyes occasionally flared with hostility and outrage, her brows knitting together as a silent argument took place. Rey was levitating her mag wrench wildly and almost conked Rose in the head twice already, and finally she had to speak up.

 

“I’m going on a mission. He doesn’t want me to go.”

 

There was never any question who  _ ‘he’ _ was.

 

“...why?” Rose ground out after a few moments and dodging the flailing mag wrench once more. She had been sorely tempted to ask if he was angry at his old colleges being felled by Rey’s laser sword. The Resistance was going on the offensive now, making use of Kylo’s intel and striking an important First Order stronghold.

 

“He thinks I’ll be in danger.”

 

Rose was surprised, but only for a moment. For some reason, Kylo Ren cared for Rey. Part of her could see why, who didn’t love Rey? She was kind, strong, brave. The Last Jedi. Hope of the Resistance. Talented mechanic. Good friend. Supplier of illicit booze. What was there to hate about this girl?

 

No, the question was how a murderous monster managed to care about  _ anyone _ .

 

“Won’t you?” Rose found herself asking.

 

“No! I mean, yes, but I can handle myself. Finn is coming, and Poe. We always have each other’s backs, this isn’t any different...No, it’s not like that...I’ve fought before,  _ with _ you if you recall...No!”

 

Rose merely raised an eyebrow as one side of the argument began to be spoken aloud.  _ This is so weird _ . Rose thought. The bickering was reaching a new level of intensity and Rose thought she could almost hear Kylo yelling in fervent tones.

 

Oh, no, she actually  _ could  _ hear him.

 

“You have never been in a battle of this magnitude and you are not yet fully trained in the Force!” Heavy foot falls of boots on the hangar floor sounded over Kylo Ren’s low but intense voice. The Supreme Leader didn’t need to yell to make himself heard. Rose’s blood turned to ice at the prospect of sharing airspace with the darksider, the towering spike of cold fury that she swore electrified the air.

 

Rey didn’t seem to suffer from Rose’s invisible terror, instead tearing herself from the belly of the ship she’d been working in and rounding on the other Force user. Thankfully the wayward mag wrench clanked loudly to the ground as it’s wielder had her attention diverted elsewhere.

 

“I am trained enough, I can handle myself!”

 

“You could get hurt!” He snarled, his voice raising the smallest measure, “You could-” Kylo’s words choked off, like he couldn’t bear to voice  _ that  _ possibility.

 

“What, I could  _ die? _ ” Rey didn’t share that reluctancy, instead scathing out the word like she was beating Ren with it. Her barb struck true, the man flinching, even if only slightly. If Rose wasn’t starring on in horror, she might have regarded Rey with no small measure of pride. She was cowing the First Order’s Supreme Leader under her intense hazel gaze. She held no punches as she brutally continued.

 

“This is war Ben, people die. You  _ know  _ that.”

 

“I won’t allow it.” he responded in a low threatening growl. Rose swore that invisible electricity in the air was positively crackling now.

 

“Allow!?” Rey bellowed, loud enough to make Rose flinch now.

 

At that tiny flicker of movement Kylo Ren finally made note of her presence and whirled upon her. Rose’s breath stuck in her throat and her heart seized in her chest at the sight of those burning dark eyes and scarred face. When Rey looked upon him she saw Ben. She saw something worthy of her consideration or even possibly redemption.

 

Rose saw a mass murderer. 

 

She saw death.

 

“We will continue this conversation in private.” Kylo ordered in a low baritone, gripping Rey’s arm tightly. She wretched it free, an iridescent rage marring her features.

 

“We will continue this conversation wherever I kriffing please!” A beat. “Which is in the back room!” This time Rey roughly grabbed Ren’s upper arm and jerked him into the room of spare parts and tools. Rose doubted Rey could move that man with her strength alone, Kylo Ren was clearly a willing captive at least. The tense conversation continued behind a closed door, but Rose was thankful that the rescinded Supreme Leader was out of sight once more.

 

She could remember how to breathe.

 

\--

 

The fight lasted for another twenty standard minutes, Rey often raising her voice. She was surprised that Kylo managed to keep his low enough so that Rose could never make out any of the words, his temper was infamous after all, but she swore the tone took on a pleading edge as the conversation continued. Eventually there was a tense silence and Kylo retreated back to wherever he came from. His shoulders drooped slightly and his features were tight, his dark eyes no longer burning but downcast. It was a walk of defeat. Once he cleared the hangar door he was once more descended upon and surrounded by the contingent of guards who’d been waiting just outside.

 

Rey emerged from the back room a moment later, though she didn’t look like she’d earned a victory. Instead there was that same sense of exhaustion that hung around her, weighing her down as it had the first night Kylo Ren was on base. 

 

“Rey?” Rose tentatively asked. 

 

Rey shook her head. “I’ll be alright.” she responded.

 

Rose for the life of her couldn’t place what exactly prompted her next question. Maybe it was the haunted look in Kylo’s eyes.

 

“Will...will you both be alright?”

 

Rey looked over in shock, then a small, tired, but endlessly grateful smile shone her way.

 

“Yeah, we will be.”

 

\--

 

After a long shift in the hangar and Rey had cooled off from the argument, Rose offered to walk with Rey to empty storage building that Finn, Rey, and other Resistance members often used to spar. 

 

“No, that’s all right, I’ll see you later.”

 

“Will I?” Rose asked, a little more biting than she intended. Rey wasn’t in their shared dorm half the time, instead suspiciously staying in Kylo Ren’s quarters. Kylo had earned the General’s trust enough by now to remain supervised by only the guard contingent when Rey wasn’t around, but she still spent a lot of time with the ex-Supreme Leader. Too much, in Rose’s opinion, but she never voiced it out loud. 

 

“You will,” Rey answered, a slightly cool edge to her words, though it quickly faded, “but you probably don’t want to see me spar today.” the words heavy with intent.  _ He _ would be there.

 

“No, I think I do. Especially after your fight.” Rose countered, and Rey looked aghast.

 

“It isn’t like that!” The bitter edge was back, sending a brief flare of panic through the mechanic. Were they fighting now? Rose never fought with Rey. Not once. “He wants to teach me, to make sure I’m prepared for the mission.”

 

The words hit Rose and a pang of guilt overtook her. She knew from that haunted look of Kylo’s that he would never want to hurt Rey. She didn’t know how, or more importantly,  _ why _ , but she knew in her bones that suggesting he intended otherwise was a low blow. Not that Rose gave two bantha-shits what Kylo Ren thought or felt, but Rey for some reason cared for him. And so Rose now had to regard him with some measure of amiability as well. At least to her friend’s face.

 

“I get it, I’m sorry. But can I please watch? I just want to make sure you are ok.” Rey studied her critically for a moment, and Rose let a conspiratorial smile bloom. “Besides, I want to watch you kick his ass.”

 

Rey bit out a sharp laugh, and whatever tension lay between them broke, the uneasy understanding flowing once more among the two friends. Rose had little time to revel in it, as her and Rey completed the short walk to the old storage building, the entrance flanked by the defector’s armed entourage.

 

Kylo was waiting for them, standing on a wide padded mat that marked the sparring arena. If he was surprised by Rose’s appearance he masked it entirely. Knowing them, Rey had probably already informed Kylo to her presence. Instead it was her that was taken aback; Despite the cooler evening temperatures, Ren was wearing a light shirt that clung a little too tightly for her tastes, considering how easily Rose could discern the tall man’s physique in unquestionable detail. She might not understand all of why Rey chose Kylo Ren, but at least one aspect was entirely transparent to her now. Rose told herself she was not,  _ not,  _ fleeing as she scuttled away to her usually spot in the corner where she typically observed Finn and Rey going at it, curious to see how different this bout would be.

 

Rey shed her coat and the two took up their respective implements before facing off. They started with basic forms, their wooden weapons clacking noisily. Rey worked with a quarterstaff and Kylo used what Rose recognized as a bokken, the combatants choosing the non-lethal versions of their favored weapons. There was a set rhythm here that even a non-combatant like Rose could identify. She couldn’t always make sense of limbs or movements, but she could understand the dance, the rhythmic beat that the pair followed. ‘Clack, clack, clack’ over and over their weapons sounded out against each other, in practiced measures. After the two had warmed up, the fight began in earnest.

 

Or at least Rose thought it had. Rey quickly pressed any advantage, her swift and graceful blows aiming to drive Kylo Ren back. He fended off her every move nearly perfectly, but never pressed back in offensive strikes. Rey would occasionally find an opening and score a grazing hit or two. But for each of her victories, she was looking increasingly agitated.

 

“Ben!” she barked finally, lowering her staff. “This was your idea! Will the First Order hold back too?”

 

“No.” He answered simply, exhaling with an air of resigned acceptance. His eyes slid over to Rose, only for a fleeting moment. Rey caught it, and seemingly whatever thought followed the gaze.

 

“She understands, she’s seen me spar before. It’s not like Finn hasn’t earned me a bruise or two.”

 

Suddenly the man positively bristled with rage, even Rose could feel the sudden change in the air. “Has he hurt-”

 

“Cut that out.” Rey snapped, cutting him off, “I give as good as I get. Worse in Finn’s case, his weapons of choice are less deadly than mine. Can you just trust me for once? Let me show you that I can handle myself.”

 

Kylo regarded Rey for a long moment before widening his stance, his body kept low. He twirled the wooden bokken in his wrist with a flourish before finally attacking.

 

And  _ this  _ was them truly fighting. Rose couldn’t hope to keep up. Rey was still deadly grace, a lithe, wild, desert-honed fighter of twirling vicious blows, but Kylo Ren was equally frightening. His movements weren’t graceless per-se, but they extruded raw brutality, each powered strike flowed from one move to the next, no momentum wasted in a savage onslaught. Kylo had the distinct advantage of strength, but he was also a bigger target, his long extended limbs often the aim of his opponent’s staff. Rey would attack with frequent lashes from both ends of her weapon, her hit rate faster, though unlike Kylo she had to use both hands most of the time to wield it. He would often attempt a grapple, and she would use her staff to fend him off. Both combatants fought dirty, lashing with elbows and kicks, a deadly dance as they circled, struck, feinted and parried. And it was truly a dance, a tandem movement of limbs, an undeniable push and pull as the two read the other’s moves at the speed of thought. It reached a fever pitch and Rose couldn’t discern who was winning, the action too fast for her eyes to track. 

 

Finally Kylo Ren’s free hand caught Rey by the wrist, and utilizing his superior mass, pulled her while he ducked low and threw his weight under her. The move knocked her up off her legs, rolling him over his back on dumping her onto the padded floor with a noisy ‘thump!’

 

“Ow.” Rey gritted out, and a look of concern flitted across Kylo’s face as he peered over the felled girl. Something unspoken passed between them and his worried expression faded, Ren offering a hand to his downed partner. He hoisted her up and she shook herself off before falling into another fighting stance, a wide grin parting her lips.

 

“Round two?”

 

\--

 

The mission was a resounding success. The First Order was dealt a suffering blow, and between Poe and Leia’s sound strategy, the Resistance’s talented fighters, and Rey’s dominating presence in a fight, there was no loss of life. On their side at least.  _ The only side that matters. _

 

Rose had eagerly crushed Finn in a hug when she saw him return, running up the ramp to him before he could even fully disembark the shuttle. The sight of a still bleeding cut on his forehead had her quickly turning to fretting instead. “It’s nothing.” he soothed, before pulling her into another hug. A guilty twinge had Rose pulling back from him slightly, scanning the rest of Finn’s party for injuries. He wasn’t her only friend who had volunteered to throw themselves in harm’s way after all. Thankful there were none, but one of their number was decidedly missing.

 

“Where’s Rey?” Rose asked, and Finn’s expression darkened, looking over Rose’s shoulder. She traced his gaze to Rey’s quickly retreating figure as she darted to the residential section of the base. The direction she was headed made it certain as to what, or rather  _ who _ , her destination was. Finn’s jaw clenched, and Rose felt his body tense up as he came to the same conclusion she had. 

 

“Hey, let’s get you to the med bay and get that cleaned up.” Rose gently ordered. She laced her fingers with Finn’s and tugged him away, the gesture seemingly distracting him from the burning hated of the man Rey was running off to. He sighed, acquiescing to Rose’s insistent pulling and relaxing the slightest bit.

 

“Yeah, all right.”

 

\--

 

The day following the successful mission, Rey had “procured” another bottle of booze to celebrate, this time Chandrilan brandy. Like most of the nights Rey and Rose had spent sharing a bottle, the conversation started light but as their levels of inebriation rose, their reservations concerning sensitive conversation topics dwindled dangerously low.

 

Tonight the discussion centered around boys.

 

“He’s not a boy, he’s a man.” Rey objected, her odd accent only getting more pronounced and surly as she drank. “He’s thirty years old.”

 

Rose grunted, “Yeah, I noticed he was older. I heard Princess Leia was younger than Han Solo too.” she gave Rey a side-eye stare that made the taller girl blush and returned it with a mock scowl. 

 

“General.” Rey automatically corrected.

 

Rose waved a hand in a ‘yeah, yeah’ gesture as she took another sip. Then she suddenly gasped. “Oh Maker, that means Ky-Ben is a Prince!” she exclaimed, just now connecting the dots. “No wonder he’s such a prissy eater.” Rey frowned slightly at that, seemingly not sure on how to comment, and Rose continued, undeterred. “If you married him, then you really would be a Jedi Princess.” Rose jokingly teased. Rey  _ hated _ the title that had been incorrectly applied to her, often by the less informed Resistance fighters on base. 

 

“What about Finn?” Rey clumsily tried to shift the focus off herself, “Are you two…” Rey circled a hand, not sure what term to use. In the Resistance short lived flings to hasty weddings and all relationship configurations in between were fair game. It was a time of war after all. “...a thing?” she finally settled on.

 

Rose helplessly shrugged. “Don’t know. He fussed over me constantly when I was recovering. At first I wasn’t sure if he was just grateful that I saved his life, or if it was something else.”

 

“Well you like him, right?” Rey inquired.

 

Rose nodded, a soft smile on her lips. “Yeah. I do. I mean, I kissed him!” she burst out laughing as she recalled that moment on Crait, “Oh, I was halfway passed out and thought I was a goner, so I just knew I needed to kiss him before the end. It was a terrible kiss!” Rey joined in on the round of giggles. “But after, when things calmed down a little...I don’t know, we care about each other but I think we’re both scared to admit it.”  _ To build something more, only to lose it. _

 

“You should kiss him again.” Rey said, as if that was that.

 

Wanting to take pressure off her, sick curiosity had Rose asking, “Have you kissed Ky-Ben?”

 

Rey stiffened, a wide-eyed stare aimed at her friend. She was searching, seeing what exactly Rose was hoping to learn from her answer. If there was judgement coming.

 

Finally she nodded. 

 

Rose couldn’t help the creeping smirk. “I figured, you  _ do _ spend most nights in his room after all.” she teased, hoping to ease her friend’s concern. She knew Finn and Poe had vocally objected to the odd pair’s relationship from day one. While Rose still hated the man, she knew he treasured Rey above anything, and in turn Rey...cared for him? Maybe something more. Something Rose hated to comment on because she despised hurting her friend. They’d had that unsaid promise, to tell the truth even if it hurts. But she couldn’t say aloud what she really thought of Kylo Ren to Rey. The galaxy had hurt Rey enough, the Resistance judged her enough, she didn’t need to heap on to that.

 

Though her teasing comment had Rey blushing an even more alarming shade of red.

 

“Maker, did you!?...”

 

Rey’s stunning lack of denial all but confirmed Rose’s suspicion.

 

“You did! Oh stars, you slept with him!”

 

Rey had a pleading and humiliated look on her face, and Rose could see the hint of tears forming in those hazel eyes. Rose couldn’t suppress a wince. She knew Rey never had anyone before, and the scavenger was bracing herself for a wave of condemnation coming her way. For sharing herself with a monster. She wouldn’t do that to her friend.

 

Rose downed the last of her brandy. “Well, is he a good lay at least?” she asked finally.

 

“Rose!” Rey sputtered in surprise, before barking out an embarrassed laugh. Rose quickly lost her own composure, the inebriated girls dissolving into another fit of giggles (and Rey an occasional snort that rekindled the giggling anew). They were suddenly interrupted by Kylo Ren throwing open the door, darkening the entryway. Rose sobered instantly, her hackles raised and instantly on edge. He was alone, the guards dismissed after Kylo had continued his self-enforced incarceration in his quarters while Rey was on her mission off-world. The General deemed manning an armed contingent a waste of resources when Rey was with him practically all hours anyways.  He quickly crossed the small room in long strides, snatching up the bottle of brandy off an end table. 

 

“You are giving me a headache.” he muttered down at Rey with mild annoyance. She only offered up an apologetic grin, still giggling lightly and not perturbed in the slightest at his intrusion. Rose found herself a little surprised Rey hadn’t warned her Kylo was coming. Maybe the brandy was dulling the Bond.

 

“I’m keeping this.” he said, turning to the door, bottle still in hand.

 

“Hey!” Rey objected, leaning toward him and reaching for the bottle “That’s mine! I sto- uh…” Kylo Ren raised an eyebrow at the admission.  _ How does he not know? _ Rose thought, somewhere under the haze of fear. Perhaps Rey shut him out when she went on her little “missions” around the docks where the privateers frequented. Then again, she could see why Rey might not want him to know, as all-consumed as he was over her safety.

 

“Fine.” she finally acquiesced, leaning back against the wall and crossing her arms in an adorably petulant pout. Kylo actually...smiled? His lips were quirking up into something that was certainly not a sneer, but Rose didn’t think such a gentle expression was possible on the man’s face. The way he looked at Rey...it just shouldn’t have been possible for a monster. Maybe a trick of the light, or her own inebriation. 

 

He turned to leave, but halted for a moment, his dark eyes falling on Rose. A brief look crossed his face, just as unimaginable as the smile had been.

 

He looked at Rose with gratitude.

 

\--

 

“Come on, Finn!” Rose yelled over he shoulder as the Resistance hero trailed behind her. When she cornered him that afternoon and asked (demanded) that he accompany her on a walk off base, he’d been looking for something. Or rather, someone. Rose could easily guess who; Rey had disappeared after their shift in the hangar, and Kylo was always quick to gather her up. Finn hadn’t taken the news well that Kylo Ren was no longer surrounded by guards every day cycle, even if he admitted that it was a pointless exercise. Rose hoped that perhaps a walk with just the two of them up the mountain trail would distract him from the darksider’s presence among the Resistance, and hopefully she would have a chance to take Rey’s advice.

 

The trail was short but quite steep, Finn often having to offer a hand when pulling Rose up a particularly jagged bit of landscape. The air was thin and all the more biting the higher they rose in elevation, a welcome sensation to cool the prickling sweat of her brow. Despite the strain on her legs, she knew the view from above promised to be spectacular. So regardless of the heavy panting and tired limbs, she persisted. The trail leveled out ahead, climbing no longer. “I think this is it!” Rose exclaimed, rushing ahead through the dull, grey surroundings.

 

It was indeed. The trail overlooked a valley, the wide expanse lined with white-peaked snow dusted mountains. The landscape on Nod Kartha was usually bland and barren but the sunken valleys held greenery, old sturdy trees and hardy shrubs that lined sapphire blue lakes. In contrast the rocky walls of the valley held bands of subtle color, dust oranges, muted reds and dark burnt umber. The setting sun made the embedded striations of minerals, still lake surfaces, and snow peaks glitter with shards of reflected golden light of the fading sunset.  

 

However before Rose could fully take in the grandeur of the scene spread out before her, she quickly realized that they weren’t alone. Seated nearby on a wide rock was Rey and Kylo. Or rather, it was  _ Ben Solo _ . The man she saw in that moment couldn’t have been Kylo Ren. He was surrounding her entirely, enveloping the desert-dweller in his long limbs while she leaned back against his chest, one of her hands idly laced in his. Rey was not small by any means, taller than Rose and towering in spirit, but nestled into Ben and cradled by his strangely large hands, she looked tiny. Utterly encased and protected, an odd sight for a fearsome warrior. He was nuzzling into her wind-swept hair, his wide mouth brushing against her temple as they stared out at the vast landscape. They were quiet with lips unmoving, the Bond the only thing needed flowing between them on invisible strings Rose could not perceive. Kylo Ren had no place in this gentle scene.

 

Suddenly, and as one, both Rey and Ben snapped their gaze to Rose as if sensing her presence.  _ Weird, _ Rose thought,  _ more Force mumbo-jumbo. _ Finn caught up to her a second later, a dark scowl taking over his face. In response to his sudden intrusion of the peaceful moment Kylo Ren returned, the limbs holding Rey now a protective cage and his dark eyes growing cold once more.

 

“So this is where you’ve run off to.” Finn said icily, eyes locked with the darksider. 

 

“Sorry Rey, we didn’t know you were up here.” Rose quickly said, trying to explain and diffuse the building tension. 

 

“That’s alright.” Rey politely replied, eyes darting between the two men. Eventually and apparently she came to a sad conclusion and the two Force users wordlessly untangled themselves. While resolute, there was a hint of hesitation to separate. “We’ll head back to the base now.”

 

“Good.” Finn grunted, spite lacing the word.

 

Rey could only look sadly at Rose with resignation, letting out a quiet sigh that she was sure was too low to catch Finn’s ear, if he was bothering to listen at all. The two departed, the air suddenly feeling colder in their absence.

 

_ Well I’m not getting that kiss today _ , she though morosely.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you dear readers for all of your comments, kudos, bookmarks and enthusiasm! 
> 
> And a big thanks again to u/Makeup_Momma for beta-reading!
> 
> One more chapter to go after this.


	3. Emerald Wine

“Poe, Finn, Rose, you are dismissed.” Leia intoned, already gathering herself for the next debriefing. “Send Rey and Ben in.”

 

With crisp salutes, the trio departed the meeting room, passing a waiting Rey and Kylo on the way out the double doors. Finn leveled a venomous glare at the taller man, but Kylo didn’t react. Rose surmised that Finn would take being ignored as a slight, and the deepening frown and furrowing brows all but confirmed it. However she knew that Kylo and Rey were entirely engaged in another unheard conversation, the looks on their faces now obviously recognizable to her. Probably about General Organa. Word around the base was that mother and son hadn’t quite reconciled. 

 

“I can’t believe the General is having us go on a mission with  _ him _ !” Finn hissed as soon as they were out of an earshot. “We can’t trust him, he’d cut us down the second our backs are turned.” Rose winced, seeing in her mind’s eye the long scar that marred Finn’s back, trailing along his spine.

 

“No he won’t.” Poe sighed. Though Commander Poe’s tactical acumen had only increased under Leia’s tutelage, even she, a lowly mechanic, could see how wrong Finn was. Poe continued, “If he wanted to kill us he would have done it already, not right before we take out the last of the First Order.”

 

“Well maybe he wanted both sides to go down, take out all the armies of the galaxy.” She sensed Finn was desperately grasping at straws, scrambling for any reason to keep Kylo off the battlefield. At least off his side of it.

 

Rose spoke up now, patient and cautious in the face of Finn’s frustration. “No, he doesn’t want that either. He knows how much that would hurt Rey.”

 

“What does he care what Rey thinks?” Finn snapped at her.

 

A look of hurt crossed over her face as she looked at Finn, his sharp tone cutting her deep. Who was this snarling man snapping at his friends? And how dare he speak to her like she was on Kylo Ren’s side! Her eyes narrowed in a steely glare. “Rey is the  _ only _ thing he cares about. We’d all be dead by now if she was gone.” she spat. With that Rose trudged to the hangar, leaving the two men in her wake. She could hear a scuff of boots on gravel and Poe’s heavy “Let her be.” muttered as she picked up the pace.

 

Rey joined her twenty standard minutes later, wordlessly levitating over a plasma cutter before Rose could even think to ask for it. While thankful for the intuitive assistance, sometimes she wondered if Rey could hear her thoughts too. Her next words only added to the theory.

 

“Rose, you alright?”

 

“Fine.” she too quickly responded in a clipped tone.

 

“Are you upset that Ben is joining us on the mission?” she hesitantly ventured after a beat.

 

Rose didn’t respond until the plasma cutter and hacked through a durasteel panel, exposing the cabling that resembled entrails underneath. She sighed, lowering the tool. “No, it makes sense. I’ve seen you two sparring, we need both of you on the battlefield with us.” Rey didn’t look convinced. “Finn is though.” Rose added. Understanding and sympathy overtook Rey’s concerned expression.

 

“He didn’t even raise the issue of me tagging along.” Rose muttered angrily as she pulled on a bundle of wires. She didn’t often take to the field, she was a mechanic, not a fighter. But Rey was busy playing Jedi this time and Rose was the only one with enough technical know-how to get the delicate job done. Normally Finn pitched a fit whenever she might be exposed to danger, citing her last tenure recovering in the med bay. But this time the former ‘trooper remained all too silent regarding her participation. Apparently there were more important matters on his mind.

 

“Some days I think he hates Kylo Ren more than he-” Rose took a shuddering breath, “More than he loves me.” Frowning, she glanced up at Rey, her hazel eyes wide and sympathetic. 

 

Silence overtook them, not wanting to push the conversation further. Not wanting to exacerbate the pain. 

 

There was only the truth, even when it hurt.

 

_ I understand though, _ echoed Rose’s unsaid thoughts,  _ because I hate him too. _

 

\--

 

Kylo was standing next to Rose, and she was trying very hard not to hyperventilate. The darksider’s proximity still lit her nerves raw and made her want to run for her life, to be anywhere but  _ right kriffing next to him _ . She wished Finn were here, even if he was being a jerkface as of late. His warm, comforting presence would still be welcome against the cold tide of Kylo Ren. 

 

But they were both waiting for Rey to return from another test flight of the  _ Upsilon _ shuttle. She’d been putting it through its paces all week, familiarizing herself with the ship’s handling and honing her skill. Rey was going to be both the commander and pilot of the mission and she wanted to be prepared. Kylo looked...strained Rose decided. Standing beside her, his body held even more stiffly than usual. She wondered why he wasn’t on the ship with her, but was too scared to ask.  _ Maybe to save his own skin in case she ends up cratering the thing. _

 

As if to prove Rose right, the shuttle dove out of a series of tight corkscrews, plummeting down towards a series of jagged mountain outcroppings. Only at the last possible second did Rey pull out of the dive, the ship skimming past the rock face by what appeared to be less than a meter. 

 

“She’s sky-touched.” Rose gasped at the display. Only Poe Dameron could match that insanity. “Leia’s letting her pilot that thing?” She didn’t expect Kylo to answer, but surprisingly he responded. Had they ever spoken before now?

 

“No one ‘lets’ Rey do anything.” Kylo grated out, like he was unused to speaking aloud to mere mortals, or mechanics in Rose’s case. “...she’s the better pilot.” he finally explained.

 

Her head snapped towards him after he made the admission. Did Kylo Ren just confirm a failing of skill? From her periphery Rose caught the shuttle smoothly transitioning from a series of Aileron rolls before gliding upside down and somersaulting into another flip. Kylo’s jaw tensed and his hands balled into fists hard enough to almost make the leather of his gloves squeak. She wondered if he wanted to reach out with the Force and put an end to Rey’s hair-raising acrobatics with his own power.

 

After far too long Rey glided the shuttle back to the ground, alighting the landing pad as gently as a feather. The girl had some skill, that was for sure. Skill, and a death wish. 

 

Kylo was the first to move, surprisingly. Rose had just been ready to flee towards the shuttle and the safe proximity of her friend when he stepped forwards to the descending ramp before it even touched the ground. He looked Rey over, as if wanting to verify with his own eyes that she was still in one piece, a large, gloved hand reaching up to brush her cheek. 

 

“I’m fine.” she said with a roll of her eyes, exasperated. “Isn’t your mother waiting on you?”

 

He grunted in response, his hands shifting to hold her lightly by the upper arms, reluctant to let her go after she was ground bound once more. 

 

“Go.” she ordered, though lightly, “I won’t have her mad at me because I made you tardy. Trust me, she has some good news.”

 

He raised an eyebrow in response. His gaze became searching, darting between her hazel eyes and trying to find more information, an answer to an unsaid query, but he let out a frustrated huff and seemingly found nothing. Rose realized she was shutting him out, hiding something. Kylo confirmed it by speaking out loud for once. 

 

“I’ll see you in the morning.” a hint of a question in his phrasing.

 

“Of course. Just bring some caf with you.” she teased, going up on her tiptoes and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. It was gentle and easy, a familiar gesture that left a pang of envy in her gut. Rose turned away, not wanting to stare too hard at the couple, feeling like she was viewing a world she wasn’t meant to see. Finally they parted, Kylo heading off to the General’s office and Rey quickly falling in step with Rose as the two women journeyed towards their shared dorm.

 

“What was that all about?” she asked. It was rare for Rey to keep secrets from the man who practically lived in her head.

 

“Leia is giving him back his lightsaber for the mission.” she answered, a small smile on her lips. Rose felt a look of horror and awe overcome her at the thought of fully arming Kylo Ren, and Rey seemed to catch the thread of her thoughts. “Don’t worry, she’s taking it back once we’re back on base.” she quickly added.

 

“I’m not worried. I’m pretty sure the last thing he wants is you disappointed because he misused his laser sword.” she quipped as she pulled open the rusty door. “Just threaten to go on another test-flight if he misbehaves, I swear you almost gave him a heart attack flying his ship.” 

 

\--

 

Rey and Rose agreed to one last drinking session before what had been dubbed the “Final Mission”. The last attack on the First Order was scheduled to take place in two days, and the girls agreed tonight would be the best to indulge for both parties. Mainly for Rose because nursing a hangover the day before diving into battle seemed like a bad call, and for Rey because she had...more important rooms to occupy and more desirable company to keep the night before. Rose shook her head to clear it of  _ that _ particular image, and dug underneath her bed to procure a bottle of her own. 

 

“Wine?” Rey asked cautiously. 

 

“Yup!” Rose answered cheerfully. Rey inspected the label after Rose had finished pouring the emerald liquid into two glasses. The Jedi’s eyes unfocused for a second, listening to whatever Kylo was whispering into her mind.

 

“He said this is considered a good vintage, but it's too sweet.” she commented before taking a tentative sip and smacking her lips. “I disagree.” she declared, shaking her head with a smile.

 

“Of course his Worshipness is a wine snob. Tell Prince Ben he’s not invited, girls’ night only.” Rose said to Rey. Kylo. Whoever.  _ And now I’m in on the weirdness too.  _

 

Rey giggled, “He’s made a ‘tactical retreat’.” she said, taking another sip. “That man is horrifically anti-social.”

 

Rose snorted at the thought of scaring off Kylo Ren. “Not with you. I can see him talking your ear off all the time.”

 

Rey gave a soft smile. “No, not with me.”

 

After a moment of comfortable silence Rose felt a question regarding Rey’s beau rise to the tip of her tongue, though she fought back against the urge to ask it. She was the only person Rey could talk to about Kylo. All of their friends still let their contempt of the man override everything and Leia...well, you just didn’t go blabbing about your guy to his mother. While she was tired of talking constantly about  _ him  _ she really didn’t want to talk about Finn tonight. She really didn’t want to broach this conversation at all, especially so early into the evening and without the shield of inebriation. But she knew she had to give Rey the rare outlet of a non-judgmental voice. Someone other than Finn or Poe, who were constantly on edge, constantly pestering her to lose the murderous snake. Someone other than the voice constantly in her head. Just a friend, willing to listen.

 

“What happens to him after?” Rose asked after minutes of deliberation. The “after” being obvious. After the mission, the First Order, the war. After when a weapon like Kylo Ren and Jedi Rey were no longer needed and his crimes could be examined fully in a time of peace.

 

Rey’s expression became expectedly hard. “A war tribunal. Leia has already started outlining his trial.”

 

Rose’s eyebrows shot up. “She’s leading the council against him?”

 

Rey shook her head. “No, she will have to rescind herself, all considering.”  _ Considering Kylo ran her husband through with a lightsaber. _ “But she will be petitioning for leniency.”

 

“Oh.” Rose said, with only mild surprise. Murderous tendencies aside, he was still her son, she supposed.

 

“I’m going to testify as well.”

 

Rose raised an eyebrow, “Isn’t that a little...biased?” 

 

“Yes, but I’m a war hero and Jedi Princess so-” she stuck out her tongue. The girls laughed, and Rose got a mischievous glint in her eyes. She waited until Rey had taken another sip of wine.

 

“So you agreed to marry him then?”

 

Rey sputtered wine all over the dorm floor, and Rose cackled uproariously.

 

\--

 

The atmosphere in the shuttle was a heavy pressing weighted against Rose’s chest as the blue and green planet loomed into view. They were descending upon Athulla, the last sanctuary for the First Order fleet. The ships were in low orbit, under the protective veil of a First Order Shield Gate. Unlike the old Empire versions, the First Order had decided on ground based power generators, the Gate merely acting as a focal lens to cast an energy shield over the remaining First Order ships. 

 

Rey was skillfully flying the  _ Upsilon  _ class ship and Kylo was situated in the co-pilot's chair, slicing a clearance code to the base of the First Order before they slipped by unchallenged through the Gate. He looked every bit the Supreme Leader, decked out once more in black garb head to toe, and his reunited lightsaber hilt strapped to his belt. There were subtle tells that the man was on edge, the way his shoulders bunched up and his usual scowl was making a comeback that hinted at his consternation. Not that Rey was flying his ship while he was deigned an inactive subordinate, but likely that she would once again be in danger. At least he was there to protect her this time, Rose figured.

 

Finn kept stealing furtive glances over at the co-pilot's chair, his fingers drumming against his holstered blaster. Rose was still mad at him, and his current contentious attitude wasn’t helping. She had enough to be anxious enough given their mission without worrying that Finn was going to start a fight with allies. 

 

Trying to distract herself she instead focused on her immediate contribution to the mission’s success. Rose’s assignment was to overload the shield generators. There were six stations in all, and she was to rewire a feedback loop that would sabotage them simultaneously. It had to be timed just  _ so _ , or else the shield protecting the enemy's ships may only be incapacitated rather than fully shut down. Finn had been assigned the “easy” job of knocking out the communications array. It didn’t exactly require finesse, just some explosive charges. Kylo and Rey were to fend off the ground troops. By themselves.

 

On top of her own fears, she also had concerns for her friends’ safety, and perhaps Kylo’s too. But just for Rey’s sake. Sure, the Force-sensitive power couple were probably the most deadly warriors in a generation or three, but it was still them verses the might of a First Order battalion. 

 

Dark thoughts circulated as she considered the Resistance's situation.  _ We’d have more fighters if  _ **_he_ ** _ didn’t kill off the bulk of us. Now everyone we can spare is attacking the fleet instead of helping fight planet-side.  _  Poe was leading the Resistance’s fleet charge, staged with every X-Wing on the far side of the moon, waiting to strike once the shield generators blew. 

 

Rey leveled out the shuttle from their gentle dive, coming in for a soft landing on the elevated pad that housed the other ships of the First Order. If Finn was able, his secondary mission was to destroy them as well. 

 

Kylo looked over at Rey, a longing gaze staring at her freckled face and into hazel eyes, as if he wished to memorize her every feature. Words passed between them, whispers that Rose could only imagine. Her heart clenched wondering if she’d get to hear someone murmur heartfelt proclamations to her one day. The corner of Rey’s mouth quirked up into a small smile, and she grabbed Kylo’s hand, lacing their fingers and squeezing gently. “I know.” she said low enough that only Rose could hear.

 

With that Rey stood, taking up the mantle of Commander, her short words carrying the weight of a Jedi. There was no doubt who was in charge for this last mission. “Alright, this is it. If we succeed today, the First Order falls. If we fail, the Resistance fleet will be destroyed. I  _ know  _ we will succeed. Everyone got their comms and chronometers?” she said to the group, met with a round of steely nods. “Ok, good, we meet back here in 45 standard minutes, and we get to see just how fast this ship can fly.”

 

With that almost vague threat, they disembarked, Rey and Kylo leading point. 

 

They’d have company soon enough.

 

\--

 

Rose was on her third generator. They were running behind, 23 minutes already having passed. Finn still hadn't disabled the Comm array and Rose was being bogged down by blaster fire while attempting to sprint between generators. 

 

While the lightsaber wielding duo was holding their own, there was still just two of them, and seemingly endless waves of Stormtroopers rising up to kill them. Rose was in her dark stolen First Order Officer uniform, making her below the immediate notice of most of the enemy troops (lightsabers were also more distracting, she was sure of that), but there were still too many blaster bolts for her taste. One grazing shot already tore through the flesh of her upper arm, a burning line on her bicep she was able to ignore with the rush of what could only be adrenaline. 

 

Rose got to the last cable, tapping her foot to keep time with the electromagnetic pulses that coursed through the generator, waiting until just...the right...second.  _ There! _ She jammed the connector into place, the thrumming of the generator already slowly increasing in pitch as the mechanical pulse shuddered and began to run at an ever increasing frequency. The beam of orange light that spewed up from the generator through the atmosphere to the Shield Gate above turning slowly a shade more yellow. She hastily closed the control panel and ducked her head out, taking note of the fray.

 

The generators were spaced out in a starburst shaped grid of blast-resistant transparisteel, cables as thick as her arm running like spokes from the hub of a central axis. From that point the cabling ran towards a series of low buildings that housed the Comm array and enemy barracks. Kylo and Rey had migrated away from the structures and were now trudging to the landing pad, having dispatched with all the of building’s defending occupants. Death lay in their wake. Rose tried not to stare, but she couldn’t help it, her eyes involuntarily drawn to the clump of corpses gilded in white plastisteel armor streaked in blood.  _ Would Finn be among them if he didn’t defect? _ The thought twisted her stomach, and she shut her eyes, trying to purge the image from her brain.

 

“Rose, now!” Rey shouted, the Jedi’s eyes focused on another transport shuttle that was pulling up to the landing pad, flush with fresh troops. Rose decided it was better to get ahead of the imminent incoming fire and darted to the fourth shield generator, her boots sounding ringing thuds on the transparisteel floor. She closed the distance just as she heard the whining hydraulics of the ship’s blast doors lifting. Her back slammed against the control panel, making sure the generator was between her and the Stormtroopers.

 

What she did next was completely idiotic and she should have been focusing on her own task, but Rose couldn’t help but peer out at the two Force-users. They had dashed forwards to meet the oncoming wave of Stormtroopers, their weapons ill-suited to ranged fighting. What she saw stole the breath from her lungs.

 

The dance of death had begun anew.

 

They reflected oncoming blaster bolts with their lightsabers as they dove into the fray, headlong into a sea of bodies. Surrounded by the white armored troops and back-to-back their glowing blades sang as they swept through the air, carving lines of light and rending their enemies asunder; hers two lines of a serenely humming silvery-blue like a resolved chord, and his the cracking crimson, spitting fury complete with flaring crossguards. There were two bodies but one mind. Every strike and lash was perfectly timed, no opening left as they fought as one, shoring up gaps left in the other’s wake. Kylo would extend his free arm to catch blaster bolts with the Force while Rey would spin her saberstaff and lean back, her flowing momentum swinging around his body to burn through any enemy foolish enough to approach the darksider. He would strike in a long high sweep of his searing blade and the ‘trooper clever enough to duck was caught by Rey’s low thrust. The felled trooper’s comrade tried to retreat, putting distance between himself and the whirling blades to raise a blaster. Rey and Kylo linked arms without any hesitation, swinging Rey around so that she could extend her saberstaff into the Stormtrooper’s chest plate. It was beautiful and terrifying to behold, this graceful display of imminent death.

 

Rose couldn’t tear her eyes away. As much as she hated seeing all the destruction she just couldn’t look away.  _ Someone needs to see this. Someone need to witness how they fight together. _

 

Finally the last Stormtrooper fell, another tangle of bodies to rot under the sun.

 

“Rey!” Rose called after checking the chronometer, realizing they were running short on time. The two faced her, and she pointed to the last two generators. “I need your help!”

 

Rey nodded and darted off the the next generator in line, and Kylo Ren ran off to...somewhere. Rose would have panicked but she soon heard her comm crackle and project Rey’s voice. 

 

“Finn, Ben is en route to assist you.”

 

_ Kriff. _

 

“Please don’t shoot him.”

 

\--

 

Thankfully, Finn had followed orders and  _ not _ wasted precious time shooting Kylo, the two now running full tilt to the shuttle. Rey didn’t even wait until the were fully on board to slam a fist on the dash to raise the ramp and shut the blast door. The  _ Upsilon's _ wings were extended and engines were already a pulsing thrum, only waiting on the last two passengers before she shot off into the air.

 

“Hold on.” Rey warned, and Rose buckled into her seat, her palm pressing hard against the blaster wound on her arm in an effort to stanch the blood flow. Pursuing TIE fighters descended on them almost immediately, laser cannon fire ripping through the airspace around the shuttle. She was wholly unprepared for experiencing Rey’s aerial acrobatics first hand, and judging by Kylo’s expression, he was too. The ship went into a sudden dip and roll that took all of Rose’s concentration not to puke right then and there. Unlike her, he soon recovered and joined Finn to the gunner’s positions, taking up the cannons against the TIEs. 

 

Rose wouldn’t remember most of the dog fight that followed, only that that they had eventually rocketed up into the black, and Finn let out a whoop when the last TIE disintegrated, the shards of durasteel plummeting back to the planet’s surface with the rest of the corpses.

 

\--

 

Sixteen standard minutes later, the shield generator’s frequencies synced into an ear-splitting, high pitched whine. The beams of orange hand morphed to columns of yellow, then eye-searing bright white. The energies coalesced, a positive feedback loop that sent all six into critical mass.

 

The Shield Gate shattered.

 

\--

 

The simultaneous explosions of the shield generators may as well have been celebratory fireworks. Resistance comms lit up as collective cheers and battle cries sounded, the fleet of X-Wings charging the exposed First Order fleet. Even though the Resistance was outnumbered, they were armed with weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and fully exploited each and every one. The battle was destined to be short lived.

 

Rose glanced over as the pilot and copilot seats, Kylo and Rey staring out at the destruction from the viewport. Simultaneously they raised an arm towards each other, their fingers twining together even as their eyes never left the battle. They had mirrored morose expressions, and Rose remembered what Rey had said the first time she explained the Force. 

 

_ It is the energy that connects all things, this web of light. _

 

_ When someone dies, I can feel it, like a string being severed. _

 

There were countless strings cut today.

 

“Rose.” Finn sounded, bringing her back to the present. “You’re hurt.”

 

Her eyes narrowed. “Thanks for noticing.” she spat. Tiredness only took the slightest edge off her words, the adrenaline finally wearing off and pain and weariness closing back in.

 

Finn closed his eyes, sighing before they opened again, dark and soft. “I’m sorry.” he offered plaintively. “I know I haven’t been-”

 

“You’ve been a kriffing jerk-ass.”

 

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve been so focused on Kylo-” 

 

“Did you already forget what I said, Finn?” Rose interrupted again, her tone pleading and desperate now. “‘We're gonna win, not fighting what we hate, but saving what we love.’”

 

Finn at least looked contrite. “I know. But why do you think I’ve been so on edge? I’ve been worried about the safety of the Resistance. Worried for Rey. Worried for  _ you _ .” he stressed.

 

Rose was unyielding. “Why do you think he’s even here?” Rose admonished. Finn looked lost.

 

Rose pointedly looked over at the couple, their expressions still solemn and their fingers still laced together.

 

Recognition slowly overtook Finn’s features, an understanding of what exactly he was looking at.

 

“He’s fighting for the one thing he loves.” she said softly. “That’s why he fought at your side knowing how you two feel about each other. He’s doing all this for her.”

 

“I guess I should follow his lead, huh?” Finn said, glancing down at her.

 

“I’d appreciate it.”

 

Rose finally got her kiss.

 

\--

 

The music was loud near the front on the hangar, and Rose reveled in it. She was well into her cups by now, and had dragged Finn on to the dancefloor. Rose couldn’t hold a candle to Poe Dameron when it came to dancing skill, no one could match the flyboy, but she could still manage decently enough. Finn was a lost cause though, two left feet and always a half-beat behind or ahead on his rhythm. But the couple hardly cared. The Resistance had won, the First Order was in its death throes, and most importantly, they were alive to experience the music together. 

 

Still, she could feel the beginnings of a headache and excused herself to a quiet, dark back corner of the hangar after Finn had kindly fetched her water. It was entirely unsurprising who she met there, slouched into a chair still too small for his large frame.

 

Kylo also appeared to have indulged, a familiar amber liquid in his glass, and it didn’t look like the first he’d imbibed upon. His expression was almost, but not fully, restrained, only a slight downturn of the corners of his mouth. The mask of Ren was gone, but Kylo always seemed to be attempting (and failing) to wear one of cold indifference in its stead. Rose thought he looked like he was attending a funeral rather than a victory celebration. Idly he sat, vaguely staring in the direction of the crowd.

 

After an untold amount of time, the specter spoke.

 

“I know you are afraid of me.” he intoned his eyes still staring ahead.

 

“Sorry.” she immediately apologized, a defense mechanism.

 

“No, you are not.” the familiar hint of superiority and impatience creeping into his low voice.

 

“No, I’m not.” she confirmed. “But I do know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

 

Kylo scoffed. “I am the most dangerous man in the galaxy, how could you possibly know that?”

 

“Because it would hurt her.” Rose quietly answered, her gaze looking out towards Rey.

 

She was dressed in her beige tunic and her hairstyle up in an elaborate series of braids, likely by Leia’s hand. She danced with Jessika, a wild twirl of limbs, desperate and near feral but so very  _ alive. _ There wasn’t anything spectacular about the Jedi’s appearance, but she was stunning to look upon nonetheless. Looking back at Kylo he had a longing gaze, like he was seeing the light of all that was good before them. Like she was the most precious thing in the galaxy. 

 

“You love her.”

 

A small nod from him confirmed Rose’s statement.

 

“You don’t deserve her.”

 

Kylo’s gaze slid up to Rose’s face, and for once she unflinchingly met it. Because it was the raw, bleeding truth.

 

“No, I don’t.” 

 

For a time, she stood and he sat, watching the Resistance celebrating their finest hour, their respective drinks dwindling in the relative quiet.

 

“You going to give Rey a headache with that?” Rose asked while pointing to his emptying cup, and Kylo gave her an appraising look. “I was there the night you complained to her, remember? I was there for a lot of it. I know more about the Bond you two have than anyone else, who isn’t Force-sensitive at least. You pick up on quite a bit just by being around.”

 

Kylo seemed to accept her explanation on what he clearly considered secret knowledge. “I closed it. I didn’t want to bring down her mood.”

 

“Mourning the First Order?” Rose replied curtly, an icy undertone creeping in.

 

“Mourning the senseless loss of life.” He raised his glass to his lips, as if to hide his words there. Rose couldn’t recall hearing so many spoken from him in all the time he’d been on base. “Of Stormtoopers like FN-2187’s comrades. Of Resistance pilots. Of the Hosnians. Of the  _ Starkiller _ crew.” 

 

_ Of my sister,  _ echoed the unspoken words as she touched her pendant.  _ Of your father _ .

 

A silence once again descended on the dark corner of the hangar. Moments to grieve for those who would never be seen again. Unbidden and unwanted the knot of Stormtrooper bodies in red-stained armor sprung into her mind, a haunting image she couldn’t unsee. Finally Kylo spoke, the sudden noise nearly making Rose jump out of her skin.

 

“Thank you.”

 

His words were equally stunning and unexpected. “For what?” she asked, incredulous.

 

“For never telling her how much you hate me.”

 

There was no point in denying it. How many more corpses had he littered across landscapes on an untold number of planets? Her mouth was a hard line before she finally responded. “I never wanted to hurt her either.  You understand, doing something that goes against everything inside you, for the people you care about.” He nodded. “I don’t know if I could ever stop hating you. Maybe one day, if you keep trying to be someone who deserves her love.”

 

He again scoffed at that, refilling his cup. “She doesn’t love me.”

 

“Oh yes she does.” Rose’s eyes narrowed as she fixed him a glare. “What she puts up with to be at your side, it could only be love. She might care about everyone, but not enough to explain how she looks at you.”

 

He was contemplative and silent again for a while, long enough to startle Rose when he spoke up again.

 

“I’ll try.”

 

She raised an eyebrow.

 

“To be the man she deserves.”

 

“Good.” Rose said with a nod, and waited until Kylo attempted to down more of his drink. “I better be invited to the wedding.”

 

Kylo Ren sputtered all over the floor in a coughing fit.

 

Rose could feel his glare at her back as she walked away with a grin to dance among her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I can't begin to tell you how much every comment and kudos mean to me. 
> 
> I am currently working on my next big story, Tempest. It will be much longer, darker, and less fluffy than this one. If that sounds like your cup of tea, I will begin posting once I am a few chapters more in (I'm up to Chapter 2 now), I ask that you please subscribe. 
> 
> See you around the trash compactor, folks!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you dear reader for joining me on my first fanfic writing journey. I've been reading fanfics for 15 years, and I've always wanted to write one. After watching The Last Jedi and jumping in the trash compactor to join you lovely Reylo fans, I felt like I finally could put words to the page.
> 
> A huge thanks to all the amazing Reylo writers out there, specifically [Sweetestcondition](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetestcondition/pseuds/Sweetestcondition) who inspired me to write this with an offhanded comment in Chapter 26 of [Hand of Fate](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13052373/chapters/29855124) about Ren and Rey looking insane to outside observers. Go read her lovely fic!
> 
> Thank you also to /u/Makeup_Momma and /u/Puddlewalker on the /r/Reylo subreddit for being my beta readers. I wouldn't have anything near as nice to post without them.


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